June is for Fathers: Celebrating Fatherhood and Its Impact

The Importance of Fatherhood: Reflections and Insights

Can you believe it’s already June? Time really flies. Over the past 43 years, I’ve learned that we need to keep moving forward and adapt to life’s changes, or we’ll just end up wondering where all the time went. Today, I want to talk about something really important: the impact of fathers. Did you know June is Fatherhood Awareness Month?

The Role of Fathers in Child Development

Fatherhood is super important. Authors Lamb and Tamis-Lemonda wrote a book called The Role of the Father in Child Development. They talk about how fathers influence their kids in many ways. They also mention that most dads either try to be like their own dads or do the opposite based on their childhood experiences. Another study by Williams found that many people see fatherhood as mainly about providing money, but there are big cultural differences between generations.

My Personal Journey into Fatherhood

My journey into fatherhood started long before my kids, Noah and Naomi, were born. I was born in May 1981, and I was lucky to have both my parents around. They played different but important roles in my life. But my first example of what a father should be was my grandfather, the late Harrison Autry Durrah Jr.

My grandfather was an amazing man. He was a father, grandfather, and community helper. Even though he passed away when I was young, he left a big mark on me. I still have a video from a flag football game in 1989 where you can hear his joy and support. It’s like he’s still with me.

My dad, Darnell Autry Durrah Sr., also played a big role. We didn’t always get along. My parents split up twice, once when I was in middle school and again in high school. The first time, I stayed with my dad; the second time, I went with my mom. I was angry and resentful for a long time. But now, as a father myself, I see things differently. Every story has two sides, and somewhere in the middle is the truth.

I’ve learned to give my dad grace and build a relationship that works for us. I’m proud of the man he has become. He inspired me to join the military, and his advice still guides me. One thing he told me was, “Son, you will grow old and raise and love your own children. You might always find someone with a child, or children, and you love on them as well.” He was right. My grandfather set that example, and I would be willing to do the same.

My godfather, Mark, also helped shape my life. He showed me patience, introduced me to other great role models, and gave me lots of good advice. When I was about to drive from California to Alabama for college, he made sure I had everything I needed. He helped me prepare for life’s challenges.

The Broader Impact of Fatherhood

Fatherhood isn’t just about biological ties. Non-biological father figures, like stepfathers and godfathers, can have a huge impact too. While being a biological dad is important, the emotional and nurturing support from all father figures is invaluable.

Challenges and Realities of Fatherhood

Being a dad is tough. It requires constant self-improvement and emotional work. My kids often give me honest feedback, which helps me grow. As a father, I’ve faced many challenges and learned that it’s important to work on myself so I can be there for my kids in the best way possible. They remind me to be patient and communicate effectively, even when it’s hard.

Resources for Fathers

For those on their fatherhood journey, here are some helpful resources:

• National Fatherhood Initiative: https://www.fatherhood.org
• Focus on the Family – Resources for Dads: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/resources-dads/
• Watch Dads of Great Students (D.O.G.S): https://dadsofgreatstudents.com/
• Books:
  • King Me: What Every Son Wants and Needs from His Father by Steven Farrar
  • How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
  • Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Meg Meeker, M.D.
  • Dad on Purpose: The Busy Dad’s Playbook for Loving Better, Doing More, and Breathing Easier by Tim Dunn
  • Parenting with Temperament in Mind: Navigating the Challenges and Celebrating Your Child’s Strengths by Liliana J. Lengua and Maria Amy Gartstein (Publication Date: August 2024)
• Articles:
  • How Therapy Helped Me Become a Better Dad, According to 10 Men by Lizzy Francis: https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/therapy-helped-better-dad
  • The Importance of Fathers for Child Development by Jennifer E. Lansford, Ph.D.: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-and-culture/202106/the-importance-fathers-child-development

Conclusion

Fatherhood is a complex and important role that has a huge impact on children’s lives. During Fatherhood Awareness Month, and beyond, let’s appreciate and highlight the critical roles fathers and father figures play. Being a parent is tough, but with support, resources, and constant self-improvement, we can strive to be the best versions of ourselves for our children.

Remember, it takes a village to raise a child. As we navigate the joys and challenges of fatherhood, let’s support each other in this important journey.