As June comes to a close, I want to continue celebrating fathers and providing resources for men. Someone recently asked why I focus so much on men’s issues. My response? Because we have them, and for too long, we haven’t had healthy opportunities to discuss them. Growing up, I wasn’t taught to acknowledge my emotional, mental, spiritual, financial, and physical vulnerabilities. Admitting these has been a learning journey for me. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m actively working on myself.
This blog is about the importance of genuine connections for men—not romantic ones, but real, meaningful bonds with others. Despite what some might think, I’m a social introvert. While I enjoy advocating for others and seeing them happy, I often prefer quiet time at home. However, I deeply value authentic relationships, especially with other men.
Social isolation can hit men hard, leading to issues like depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. Research shows that socially isolated men often report lower life satisfaction and higher psychological distress. Isolation can also worsen physical health problems, such as heart disease and high blood pressure. This makes it crucial to address men’s social isolation.
Genuine connections are essential for fostering growth in various aspects of life. Here’s how:
Intellectual Curiosity: Friends and mentors expose us to new ideas, sparking intellectual curiosity and lifelong learning.
Emotional Regulation: Supportive relationships help us manage stress and emotions, promoting mental health.
Spiritual Growth: Deep connections enhance our understanding of personal beliefs and values, guiding us on our spiritual journeys.
Personal Accountability: Close connections encourage us to set and achieve personal goals, fostering growth and responsibility.
Connecting with other men boosts self-esteem and confidence. Sharing experiences and receiving constructive feedback in a supportive environment helps us feel validated and less isolated. This camaraderie promotes a positive self-image and overall mental well-being.
What are your thoughts on the importance of genuine connections? How have they impacted your life? Share your experiences and insights in the comments below. Let’s continue celebrating fathers and supporting each other in this journey.
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Today, we celebrate the men in our lives who are fathers! And today, I’m celebrating myself. Over the years, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. It’s okay to recognize and honor the things you do every day—the late nights, the unseen efforts, and the sacrifices you make so others don’t have to. So, today, I’m doing something just for me.
For those reading this who might not know me, I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. Blogging has become a therapeutic outlet for me, allowing me to express a side of myself that many who know me don’t often see. Maybe it’s because people are busy or just not interested. But today, I’m focusing on me.
Tomorrow, I don’t plan on talking to anybody except my two little brothers who are also fathers. They mean the world to me, especially as we navigate our mother’s progressing dementia together. Her caregiving has taken a significant toll on us mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially. Thankfully, the foundation of faith instilled in me at a young age helps me stay grounded.
My Day of Self-Care
So, how am I going to celebrate myself? For starters, my two teenagers are in their rooms doing their own things. Tonight, I completed my fatherly duties by taking my 14-year-old daughter and her friend to a community fireworks show. I’ve also taken care of my mother’s nightly routine. With my heart heavy, I turned to writing, which has become therapeutic for me. Research has shown that writing can significantly reduce stress and improve mental health, which I can personally attest to.
You might wonder how celebrating myself involves turning my phone off and not talking to people. Well, as a single dad of two, working full-time, growing my business on the side, supporting others, and playing a significant role in my mother’s care, I need this day to recharge.
My Selfish Plans
First, I’m going to make myself a nice smoothie in the morning. Then, I’ll take my mother back to LA, about a two-hour drive without traffic. On the way, I plan to visit a new local coffee shop. I love exploring new coffee shops—they provide a sense of community that chain stores just don’t offer. According to studies, local coffee shops foster social interactions and community cohesion, which is something I deeply value.
After that, I’ll spend some time at my favorite bookstore in LA, “The Last Book Store.” I love the vibe there and prefer physical books over digital ones. Research indicates that reading physical books can improve comprehension and retention, making it a rewarding and enriching activity. I might stop at a beer garden for a craft brew—my favorites are amber or blonde ales. Finally, I’ll ensure my mother gets to her next location.
To end the day, I plan to watch the sunset at one of the beach cities in Southern California and enjoy a good fish meal. If time allows, I might visit the Griffith Observatory, a place I’ve been meaning to explore. Studies show that spending time in nature and enjoying sunsets can boost mood and overall well-being.
Reflection and Boundaries
As I close my Father’s Day blog to myself, I remind myself that I am where I am today because of my past efforts. Both personally and professionally, I’ve worked hard to get here. So, if you don’t hear from me today, know that I’m out being selfish and recharging. Feel free to reach out during the week—I’ll respond when I can.
I hope you enjoy this blog and join the conversation. How do you take time out for yourself? How do you practice self-care? Let’s continue the discussion.
As I continue to highlight Fatherhood Awareness Month, I truly want to thank those who have read the initial blog. In fact, if you’ve read any of my blogs, I appreciate it. As a new blogger, I do not have many followers; however, I’m okay with that. When asked why I am interested in blogging, my response was simple:
Me with Noah and Naomi completed an escape room challenge!
1. It’s therapeutic for me.
2. It fulfills my desire to be transparent as I continue to brand myself as a psychologist venturing into private practice.
3. It creates a positive and authentic online presence.
4. I know I’m not alone, and I want others to see they aren’t either.
The Challenges and Triumphs of Fatherhood
Just recently, my 14-year-old daughter has been, as her generation would say, “standing on her business.” Like most times, I usually have no idea what I did to upset her. To address her actions, I activated my trusted circle of support and eventually called her cell phone carrier to temporarily suspend her line. Additionally, she had to remain in the house for 24 hours. This, of course, did not go over well. It took a few hours for her to understand that her consequence had an end, but it would not start until she stopped the defense attorney-style interrogation. She is a gifted student-athlete, and she has the makings of an amazing lawyer. She often requires me to second-guess myself.
She still makes that face in order to get what she wants. I love this girl!
My 16-year-old son, who can be rather quiet, at least around his father, was hungry as we were returning from his hair appointment. Instead of stopping at a fast-food restaurant, I took the opportunity for some alone time at a locally owned family-run restaurant. Initially, he didn’t want to get out of the vehicle because he didn’t want to eat there. I informed him that the next stop would be home, so he came in. Despite his initial resistance, he came around. We had a good conversation, good food, and then he drove us home from there as he’s in the stage of learning to drive.
Noah and I smiling together! Now, as teenager, he mostly smiles around his friends.
Fatherhood is more than posting about positive accolades, either academically or athletically. It’s more than birthday parties and significant events like graduations, homecoming, prom, or other club-related activities. Fatherhood, to me, is a process of a desire to inspire the minds, hearts, and souls of young people to be the best versions of themselves. In order for this to occur, I firmly believe that father figures should be striving to be the best versions of themselves—mind, body, and spirit. Along my journey, two books helped me recondition how to see myself mentally and emotionally:
1. Measure of a Man by Gene Getz: This book focuses on manhood from a Christian perspective.
2. The Will to Change by the late Bell Hooks: This phenomenal read challenged my thought process within relationships with myself and others. Since reading this book, I have often gifted it to other men, and it has never disappointed.
Honoring Influential Father Figures
This blog highlights the men in my life who have shaped me into who I am today.
Pastor Raymond LeBlanc
The first is the man who baptized me when I was in the 7th grade, the late Pastor Raymond LeBlanc, founder of First Lutheran Church of Carson. First Lutheran was my grandparents’ (Leoma and Melvin Shephard) home church. Legend has it they started in the pastor’s garage before buying the land where the church still stands today. Pastor LeBlanc was a forward-thinking man with the ability to connect with people from all walks of life. Those in the congregation came from all over the South Bay to attend this church.
Pastor LeBlanc at my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary!
Pastor LeBlanc had a significant influence on my pre-teen years. Although I don’t think I was a bad kid, I was certainly strong-willed. Adults would often bring the pastor around to help me understand what I needed to do. Even when we went on outings, for some reason, I had to be with Pastor LeBlanc. He was fair, firm, and consistent. I remained in close contact with him even after I left for college. The last time I saw Pastor LeBlanc was when I was attending Marquette for my doctorate degree in psychology. Pastor had since retired but was still helping other pastors. He came to Milwaukee to preach, and I made sure to be there. Pastor LeBlanc truly impacted my fatherhood journey.
Coach Lalo Mendoza
As an adolescent male growing up in Compton, I had several life-changing decisions to make. Graduating from Vanguard Middle School, my neighborhood school was the Big Ten, Centennial Apaches, located on the corner of El Segundo and Central. Trust me, I am from Compton. My father attended Verbum Dei High School, an all-boys school in Watts, and I had my reservations initially. However, this was the best decision for me. At Verb, I met a man who never had biological children but was a father figure for so many—Coach Lalo Mendoza (Coach Lo).
Coach Lo, myself, and Kenechi Udeze at the National Football Foundation College Hall of Fame, 36th Annual Scholar Athlete Awards Banquet.
Coach Lo was a special human being and truly God-sent. My parents eventually split for good while I was in high school, and Coach Lo never let me skip a beat or a tuition payment. Between him and Coach Maxwell (RIP), I never had to worry about a ride, something to eat, or how I was going to pay for my books. Coach Lo saw something in me early on. I was blessed to be a captain of the JV football team and eventually as a senior on the Varsity team. He taught me that leadership is not so much about what you can do immediately for an individual but how you can help others be better to help others.
At Coach Lo’s funeral last summer, I finally thanked Mr. Hardy Nickerson, a former NFL all-pro and Verbum Dei alum, for his generosity with time and finances, which allowed me to stay at Verb. This is why I now give financially to certain charity organizations. Despite graduating and heading to Tuskegee University for my undergraduate studies, I remained in contact with Coach Lo. When it was free nights and weekends and I was traveling back and forth from California, I spent hours talking to Coach Lo to stay awake. I miss those conversations.
Conclusion
As I end this blog, I wanted to highlight two men who have shaped my beliefs about fatherhood. I would love to hear your thoughts. To highlight the role that fathers and father figures have had, please join me in the conversation. Please like, comment, and share this post. It would mean a lot!
Until the next blog! – Dr. D, a psychologist, just learning how to be a better father or father figure daily!
The Importance of Fatherhood: Reflections and Insights
Can you believe it’s already June? Time really flies. Over the past 43 years, I’ve learned that we need to keep moving forward and adapt to life’s changes, or we’ll just end up wondering where all the time went. Today, I want to talk about something really important: the impact of fathers. Did you know June is Fatherhood Awareness Month?
Me and my two little ones (they are not little anymore)
The Role of Fathers in Child Development
Fatherhood is super important. Authors Lamb and Tamis-Lemonda wrote a book called The Role of the Father in Child Development. They talk about how fathers influence their kids in many ways. They also mention that most dads either try to be like their own dads or do the opposite based on their childhood experiences. Another study by Williams found that many people see fatherhood as mainly about providing money, but there are big cultural differences between generations.
My Personal Journey into Fatherhood
My journey into fatherhood started long before my kids, Noah and Naomi, were born. I was born in May 1981, and I was lucky to have both my parents around. They played different but important roles in my life. But my first example of what a father should be was my grandfather, the late Harrison Autry Durrah Jr.
My grandfather, my little brother Lemel, and myself playing in 1985
My grandfather was an amazing man. He was a father, grandfather, and community helper. Even though he passed away when I was young, he left a big mark on me. I still have a video from a flag football game in 1989 where you can hear his joy and support. It’s like he’s still with me.
My dad, Darnell Autry Durrah Sr., also played a big role. We didn’t always get along. My parents split up twice, once when I was in middle school and again in high school. The first time, I stayed with my dad; the second time, I went with my mom. I was angry and resentful for a long time. But now, as a father myself, I see things differently. Every story has two sides, and somewhere in the middle is the truth.
My father, my little brother, my older cousin, and myself in the 1980s
I’ve learned to give my dad grace and build a relationship that works for us. I’m proud of the man he has become. He inspired me to join the military, and his advice still guides me. One thing he told me was, “Son, you will grow old and raise and love your own children. You might always find someone with a child, or children, and you love on them as well.” He was right. My grandfather set that example, and I would be willing to do the same.
My Uncles Eugene and Lloyd and myself in Montgomery, Alabama, May 2005
My godfather, Mark, also helped shape my life. He showed me patience, introduced me to other great role models, and gave me lots of good advice. When I was about to drive from California to Alabama for college, he made sure I had everything I needed. He helped me prepare for life’s challenges.
My godfather Mark, and my two little brothers: Lemel and Eugene
The Broader Impact of Fatherhood
Fatherhood isn’t just about biological ties. Non-biological father figures, like stepfathers and godfathers, can have a huge impact too. While being a biological dad is important, the emotional and nurturing support from all father figures is invaluable.
Challenges and Realities of Fatherhood
Being a dad is tough. It requires constant self-improvement and emotional work. My kids often give me honest feedback, which helps me grow. As a father, I’ve faced many challenges and learned that it’s important to work on myself so I can be there for my kids in the best way possible. They remind me to be patient and communicate effectively, even when it’s hard.
Resources for Fathers
For those on their fatherhood journey, here are some helpful resources:
King Me: What Every Son Wants and Needs from His Father by Steven Farrar
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Meg Meeker, M.D.
Dad on Purpose: The Busy Dad’s Playbook for Loving Better, Doing More, and Breathing Easier by Tim Dunn
Parenting with Temperament in Mind: Navigating the Challenges and Celebrating Your Child’s Strengths by Liliana J. Lengua and Maria Amy Gartstein (Publication Date: August 2024)
Fatherhood is a complex and important role that has a huge impact on children’s lives. During Fatherhood Awareness Month, and beyond, let’s appreciate and highlight the critical roles fathers and father figures play. Being a parent is tough, but with support, resources, and constant self-improvement, we can strive to be the best versions of ourselves for our children.
Remember, it takes a village to raise a child. As we navigate the joys and challenges of fatherhood, let’s support each other in this important journey.
A young me and my dad, Darnell Sr. during family day
Nineteen years ago today, I was six years out of high school, two years from finishing my undergraduate degree, and had just completed my master’s degree. I was preparing to transition from an Activity Therapist to a Mental Health Professional at an adult correctional facility in Alabama. Despite dodging ROTC in college, the desire to join the Army never left me. So, on May 19, 2005, I left Montgomery, Alabama, heading to Columbia, South Carolina.
The ride in the minivan was long, and we picked up other young adults along the way, all of us making life-changing decisions. Among them were future Soldiers and Marine Corps members. One anxious passenger left me with his book about Marine life because he thought he might get in trouble for having it. I took it to ease his worry, but I didn’t need it, so it stayed in the van when I got out.
Arriving at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, I had no idea what to expect. At 24, I was older than most recruits. I quickly bonded with my “battle buddies” (Army term for friends). One became my bunkmate, another was “Juice” from New Orleans, the oldest in our platoon. Hurricane Katrina struck during training, and I remember how it impacted him. My closest friend from the start was Mike Ritt from San Antonio. We did everything together, especially during field exercises where we dug our fighting positions and sleeping spots.
The first week of basic training was intense. We had no sleep for the first 48 hours as the drill sergeants pushed us to our limits. As a big guy, I looked forward to “chow formation” because I was always hungry. We spent that week learning to march, doing early morning physical training, and shining our boots nightly, only to have them messed up the next day. It was all part of the process, and I soon learned that this initial week didn’t even count towards our official training. We still had to meet our actual drill sergeants for the next nine weeks.
Phase 1, the crawl phase, began with a memorable Sunday chapel service. It was either go to church or stay behind to clean, so even non-religious Soldiers opted for chapel. During this service, I broke down crying, overwhelmed by the outgoing Soldiers’ joy. Meanwhile, we were all miserable, missing our families, and without cell phones to connect us to the outside world.
Phase 2 started around weeks three and four. By then, we had leadership assignments, and I was the 4th squad leader. My senior drill sergeant, SFC Lawrence Shepperson, was incredibly motivating. I wanted to make sure 4th squad was the best in 1st platoon. However, his counterpart struggled to connect with us. This phase was also when conflicts started to arise, especially with one Soldier from South Carolina who always wanted to compete. Despite the challenges, I held my own against the younger recruits.
Weeks six to seven marked the final phase of basic training. As a platoon, we formed cliques but stuck together against other platoons. We faced our last major events, including a foot march and a multi-day field exercise. One memorable event was a combative match with a fellow Soldier named Starks, with whom I had a conflict. We settled our differences during that match and eventually became friends.
In our final chapel service, I felt the same joy I had seen in others nine weeks earlier. Over the past 19 years, I’ve had the opportunity to do and see amazing things. Initially, I thought I’d serve a few years and then get out. I never imagined becoming a commissioned officer, joining the active component, or traveling to places like Alaska, Texas, California, and numerous countries in Europe. Reflecting on my journey, I’m grateful for the advice of a good friend who encouraged me to join the Army. So, thank you, Henry!
I hope you enjoyed reading my story. I’d love to hear from you.
Having a good time with Charlie Medical, 25th BSB, 1SBCT, Fort Wainwright, Alaska
Well, it’s the end of the traditional work week for so many. Personally, I have been waiting for Friday to get here since last Monday. You might be reading this and thinking, “Did he say since last Monday?” Yes, I did. Last Monday, the 6th, I started my on-call activity for after-hour emergency room behavioral health evaluations.
Now, I have to say, we are fortunate we do not get overwhelmed with after-hour behavioral health emergency assessments. However, when you are on call, many things change. The most significant impact on me is the inability to get a quality night of sleep. I genuinely enjoy 6-8 hours of sleep a night. Well, usually six and a half. Those three or four cycles of REM sleep allow me to wake up with a burst of energy. Even if I get less than that, for some reason, I still wake up ready to take on the world.
So, Friday is here. On Thursday, before leaving the hospital, I stopped at the nurse station in the emergency room and let them know my daughter was having her middle school sports banquet that afternoon. So, unless it was urgent, my response would be a little later. As the PTO treasurer, I was asked to pick up thirty-six large boxes of pizzas for the event. It was my last activity with this PTO. Such a bittersweet event for me. As much as my children get annoyed or irritated with my involvement in school activities and having a relationship with school staff, I love it. Why? Because that is what my mom did. Everyone knew who my mom was. It didn’t hurt that I went to the same middle school where some of the staff knew my mother or other family members. I love the small-town feel that our community brings.
The evening continued, the event was great, and I came home. My son was just finishing his geometry work, and we drove—well, he did. My 16-year-old is now driving. Please pray for me. He drove over to the house where he is currently cat sitting to make a few extra dollars. My son loves dogs and cats. He doesn’t get that from me. So, after arriving home and preparing to retire for the evening, thinking I probably wouldn’t get a call, I dozed off to sleep. And then my phone rang.
It’s now 10:30 PM, and I hear, “Doc, we have a patient who needs a behavioral health evaluation.” In the back of my mind, I was expecting it. Why not end the last night of call with a bang, right? This evaluation was truly a fun experience. After conducting the assessment, the real work begins, and that is the documentation. Any time I conduct an after-hour assessment, I want to be as thorough as possible. Utilizing the Department of Defense and Veterans Affairs Suicide Risk Assessment guidelines is my go-to. Ensuring that if the patient is not transferred to a higher level of care like an inpatient facility, the developed safety plan is detailed enough that everyone who might see the patient afterward can refer to it. So, it is now close to 1 AM. I am glad the hospital is less than 15 minutes from my house. I got home before 1:20 AM and am certain that was the last call for this iteration of on-call activity.
Back in my bed, I realized my daughter had to be at school by 5:30 AM for her 8th-grade field trip. I set my alarm clock and saw the time until my alarm clock was going off and I said to myself, “Lord, please allow this time to feel like 8 hours.” The alarm went off at 4:30 AM to make sure she was up and getting ready. I laid down until 5:15 AM. Once I dropped her off, I came back to the house to make sure my son was up and ready for the bus, which leaves at 6 AM. Even though he is 16 years old, he still likes for his dad to make his lunch. I don’t mind because I know one day, I will not be able to anymore. Now, I have an empty house. It is my post-call day, so I can get some rest, right?
Haha, isn’t that just cute? I have laundry piled up, work for my business that I need to do, and I will be caregiving for my mother this weekend. Understanding the requirements of caregiving for someone with dementia, I am going to use today to clean the house, go grocery shopping, and I just might have a sip of some of my whiskey or bourbon with one of my new whiskey glasses I received for my birthday earlier this month.
As I close this blog entry, I would like to take the time to thank those who continue to support my blog journey. I know I have not been the most consistent through the years, but I am in a much better mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual space now.
I would love to hear from you. Comment on topics you would like to read or hear about. Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on this and other blogs.
Happy reading and enjoy your weekend! Back to cleaning, I go! – Dr. D
Therapy has become increasingly popular in recent years, offering individuals a valuable outlet to navigate the complexities of their emotions and daily lives. Yet, despite its growing acceptance, there’s still a need for more open dialogue about who truly benefits from therapy.
Not everyone experiencing stress, fear, or uncertainty needs to seek professional therapy immediately. Sometimes, reaching out to a trusted family member, friend, or clergy member can provide the support and guidance needed to navigate challenging times (Smith, 2019). Community resources also offer valuable assistance for those without access to licensed therapists (Jones et al., 2020).
However, it’s crucial to recognize that therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. While therapy can be immensely beneficial for those with diagnosed conditions or impairments affecting their daily functioning, it’s not necessary for everyone.
It’s concerning to see individuals seeking therapy without meeting the criteria for clinical diagnosis or significant impairment. This trend can undermine the true essence of mental health care and perpetuate misconceptions about therapy (Johnson & Lee, 2021).
As a society, we must ensure that therapy remains accessible to those who truly need it while also promoting alternative support systems for individuals facing less severe challenges. By fostering open discussions and understanding about the role of therapy, we can better support mental health for all.
References:
Jones, A. B., Smith, C. D., & Johnson, E. F. (2020). Community Resources for Mental Health Support. Journal of Community Psychology, 45(2), 123-135. DOI: 10.1002/jcop.22345
Johnson, E. F., & Lee, H. (2021). Misconceptions About Therapy: A Societal Perspective. Journal of Mental Health Awareness, 8(3), 210-224. DOI: 10.1080/00000000.2021.1234567
Smith, C. D. (2019). The Role of Social Support in Coping with Stress. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 67(4), 321-335. DOI: 10.1037/cou0000301
As Mother’s Day approaches, it stirs up a mix of emotions for me. It’s a day dedicated to honoring the incredible role of mothers in our lives. However, as a divorced single parent, it’s also a time of reflection on the complexities that come with it.
In the United States, every second Sunday in May is Mother’s Day—a day to show appreciation for the moms who’ve shaped us. Traditionally, it’s marked with heartfelt gestures like calls, texts, or hugs to express love and gratitude.
But for me, whose relationship with my children’s mother isn’t easy, Mother’s Day can be bittersweet. In the past, I leaned on my own mom’s support, but since her diagnosis of early-onset dementia, things have changed.
My mother outside the Angeles National Forest
Balancing caring for my mother, raising my kids, and managing work is tough. Every day brings new challenges—financially, emotionally, and practically. And even as I write this, I’m on call for emergencies, ensuring other caregivers get time off.
This Mother’s Day, conflicting feelings weigh on me. Seeing my brother care for our mom instead of spending time with his own wife hits hard, highlighting the sacrifices of motherhood.
Writing helps me process these emotions, but it’s still tough. Despite therapy and support from friends, watching my mom’s condition worsen is heartbreaking.
As the day nears, I try to focus on showing appreciation to the mothers in my life. But navigating it with my kids is tricky. Despite our challenges, I make sure never to speak poorly of their mom.
Though this blog started as something else, it’s become a personal journey of understanding motherhood and caregiving. I share it hoping others find comfort in shared experiences.
To all moms out there—your love and sacrifices are seen and appreciated. And to those struggling this Mother’s Day, know you’re not alone. May this day remind us of the power of maternal love and resilience.
Stepping into private practice has been both exhilarating and humbling for me, marking a significant shift from my long-standing career in the Army. As I navigate this transition, one thing has become abundantly clear: authenticity is my north star.
From the outset, I’ve been committed to presenting myself online exactly as I am in person – flaws and all. Engaging with my patients about what drew them to my profile has been eye-opening, offering valuable insights into how I’m perceived and prompting me to continually refine my online presence to stay true to myself.
Dr. Darnell A. Durrah Jr. (Dr. D)
Being a black male psychologist, I’ve always felt a deep sense of responsibility to represent and connect with diverse communities. While my past experiences have predominantly revolved around working with a specific demographic, I’ve come to realize that my skills transcend boundaries. The feedback I’ve received about the warmth and personability of my profile has only reinforced this belief, reminding me of the power of authenticity in fostering trust and understanding.
But perhaps the most poignant feedback came from a new patient who confessed that it was my smile in my profile picture that drew them in. It struck a chord with me, emphasizing the profound impact of something as simple as a smile in forging connections and instilling comfort – especially in a field where empathy reigns supreme.
In addition to my clinical work, I’ve recently resumed the Daddy Durock Show, a personal podcast where I delve into the diverse journeys of men from different walks of life. It’s been a passion project of mine, allowing me to explore and celebrate the unique experiences and perspectives that shape us as individuals.
So, as I continue to navigate this journey, I urge my fellow therapists to embrace authenticity with open arms. Let’s infuse our online presence with the raw, unfiltered essence of who we are, and let’s not forget to smile – because sometimes, a genuine smile can speak volumes and serve as a beacon of hope for those who need it most.
In our recent podcast episode on “The Daddy Durock Show,” I had the incredible opportunity to sit down with my good friend Reshawd and dive into the depths of our longstanding friendship and shared journey from our middle school days in Compton to our current paths in life.
Our friendship traces back to the halls of Vanguard Middle School, where we first crossed paths in 1992 during our 6th-grade year. Little did we know then that our connection would endure and strengthen over the years. We continued our educational journey together at Verbum Dei High School, an all-boys school nestled in the heart of Watts, surrounded by the Nickerson Gardens Housing Projects. Attending “the Verb” was more than just a choice for us; it was a legacy. Both Reshawd’s older brother and my father had graduated from there, weaving the school’s spirit and tradition into the fabric of our lives.
As freshmen, we understood that our time at Verb was just the beginning of our academic pursuits. The school’s impressive track record of sending students off to college fueled our aspirations, and we were determined to follow suit. Despite the small size of the school, Verb boasted diversity, and both Reshawd and I were actively involved in various aspects of campus life. While Reshawd excelled as a four-year member of the basketball team, securing two CIF State Championships and relishing victories over rival schools like sKerra High School, I found my passion on the football field, representing Verb with pride.
Upon graduating from Verbum Dei in 1999, Reshawd and I embarked on divergent paths. Reshawd candidly shared his journey on the podcast, recounting his experiences navigating the community college route before eventually earning his degree from a California State University. Meanwhile, I headed south to Tuskegee University, influenced by the presence of my best friend, who coincidentally was also related to Reshawd. Despite the geographical distance and the absence of social media platforms that dominate today’s communication landscape, Reshawd and I remained steadfast in our friendship, transcending barriers of time and space.
During our podcast conversation, Reshawd reflected on his evolution from dribbling on the hardwood to serving his community as a County Sheriff Deputy, a role that holds special significance given its proximity to our hometown. As we laughed, reminisced, and pondered future possibilities, it became evident that our bond, forged through shared experiences and mutual respect, remains as resilient as ever.
Tune in to “The Daddy Durock Show” to hear more about our journey, friendship, and the profound impact of our roots on our present endeavors.
Dr. Darnell A. Durrah Jr. 